Find the odd Schnitz out.

As you might know in the REAL Lord of the Rings the fellowship of the ring was constantly followed by a creature called Gollum (or Smeagol).
In The Lord of Maigret the fellowship of Maigret is followed by a similar creature called Glennum Schnitzmol (based on the maker of proggieweb!!)
Now from this point forward you will find subtle hints and references throughout our stories that point to Glennum Schnitzmol. He will most of the time be recognised by the blazing red hair he has. Can you find him in all the stories??

If you’re looking for a more serious challenge you can also try to find all the magic of Lady Linadriel wich provides aid to the fellowship (mostly very green magic). These can be very subtle and unexplainable things like the weather clearing at JUST the right moment. Or someting amazingly obvious like an animated sword that tries to drive Glennum away from the fellowship. =)
When you’re absolutely convinced you’ve got one of these locations, send your answer to
The first references will occur in the week of 28 june. Have Fun!!

Merry and Pippin.

Published in: on June 28, 2006 at 2:59 pm  Leave a Comment  

The Lord Of Maigret: "Crossing Smithadras"

The Machinery of VC:

This small story begins in the dungeons of Orthclass. VC was just inspecting her latest victims, students, cheaters and friends of those blasted Void-followers. She had chained them to their desks where they were forced to learn and study and by VC’s demonical english lessons they were brainwashed. They became the Orcil-High. Very different from the Orcils of Blub!, because these were brainwashed with English, the Orcils of Blub were brainwashed with french. English created more loyal and able warriors (or slaves!). One clever pupil managed to escape and ran for the door. VC just stood there watching as the Orcil guards couldn’t stop him. She gave a deep sigh and , in a flash, she shifted herself through space in front of the pupil. BANG! VC gave him a headbutt, with her o-so-famous diadem (wich was nothing more than a rusty spiked headband ) to remember for the rest of his life. Unfortunately, that life wouldn’t stand for more then, let’s see, …. 5 seconds. As the Pupil lay there crawling in pain on the floor VC said: “Trying to get away, hmm. Oh, now I need to clean my diadem again. And you know how I hate cleaning, don’t you. My dear!” The pupil looked horrified. VC waved her hand and in a green flash the pupil was sent to essay-land? The orcil-guards stopped, became silent for a moment and those that had a hat, took it of for a second. VC scurried them away: “There will be NO compassion for the enemy, my dears!!” she said. The Orcil-guards quickly ran for their posts! Fearing a similar fate! VC looked pleased: “One more cargo of lazy followers and I’ll have an army big enough to launch an attack upon Middle-School” She started laughing maniacally. In her classroom she sat down behind her desk still enjoying herself. She took a remote and zapped to the security channel on her Paleser (wich was just a big Zero-shaped eraser.) As she was skimming through the security camera readouts she saw the most dreadfull thing! The fellowship had escaped her flying dictionnairies and were now heading towards the Pellenor playgrounds over the slopes of Smithadras!! (not the peak as in “The Glennrog of Myleroth” the slopes were the rooftops on the second level under the classroom of Smithadras.) VC quickly looked in her robes for her cellphone, then she remembered that the damn things wouldn’t be invented for over 20000 years and gave orders to the Orcils at the door to bring the Nymfomaniac Zenwâe to the top of Orthclass and command her to block the fellowships path. VC had captured Zenwâe’s mate and imprisoned him in the classrooms beneath Orthclass. As was the custom with Nymfomaniacs they were like sheep without their mate. So although Zenwâe didn’t WANT to hurt the fellowship, she had to, because this sexloving creature was under VC’s control!

Nowhere to go:

In the meanwhile the fellowship was hurrying over the rooftops of Smithadras, an abyss on one end, a concrete wall on the other. When suddly Glenmli halted. “Are you tired, Master Dwarf?” SaruSven said teasingly. “No you rascal” Glenmli said “Their is a bitchy voice in the air!, I can tell, it sounds just like my Seventh wife!!” “It’s VC!!” Giandalf yelled “She’s using a Nymfomaniac!” “Well then we must go back!” Glenmli said! “NOOO!!” SaruSven held up his staff and started yelling at the bitchy voice: “Moktdagewegze Ghij Ohnoosell trezebeesoum”

And the voice replied:
Anorexia aiaiaai Come fatih oh yea, we bangbang en tralalaaaa Oeeioei I pregneroum, enn it’s UNWANTED!!

At the sound of “unwanted” a giant condom struck the upstairs classroom and the walls of Smithadras crumbled and fell down. Giandalf and SaruSven where only just able to conjure up a giant “PILL” to protect the fellowship. GRRMBL, CRASH aaah BANG preciouss RRRUUMBLE, as the avalanche crashed down upon them. When All the debris had fallen in the abyss, the pill vanished and they looked up. From the upstairs classroom only a blackboard could be seen. “We should’ve taken a different road. “Giandalf muttered. “We could go through the caves of Jomia” Glenmli offered “My people have taken that area from the enemy and have been hiding out there for years. We will be welcome there.” “It is TOO dangerous!” SaruSven yelled. “Let the Bookbarer deside!” Giandalf said calmly. All eyes turned towards Gilldo. He swallowed then said: “We will go through the caves of Jomia!”
“So be it….” SaruSven tought.

Published in: on June 27, 2006 at 7:42 pm  Leave a Comment  

Notes on "The Glennrog of Myleroth"

We will now wave away all the rumors about SaruSven and Giandalf’s death.
They did not die. (bad news for Proggieweb!!, the war continues!!)

No, they paid a brief visit to cyberspace (afterlife). Why cyberspace? Because the stories are based upon a made-up faith called “The Void” (he is the God of Cyberspace and everything that has to do with computers.) and he has a sister called Dell, our pc-Matron (or Game-matron since she is the Lady of all games). You will hear these names frequently throughout “The lord of Maigret” since it is actually a battle between the evil forces of school: Nâz-Teachers, The Great Blub… and the followers of the Void: (E.G. Giandalf and SaruSven). Now, as you know teachers are people (excuse me: creatures!!!) with great power. The Nâz-Teachers have but to wave their hand and you are locked forever in essay-land where you will have to do homework for no marks at all, for the rest of your life under the allseeing eye of Mr. “The Wild”. This is also what will happen if the “One Maigret” falls into the claws of the great blub! On their little excursion Giandalf and SaruSven met our Game-matron: Dell (the void was still sleeping) and she used her extroadinairy powers and cheatcodes to triple! (yes TRIPLE!!) The 2 wizard’s power… they were also given an intire new and more powerfull array of spells, based on their old ones. (compare Giandalfs lightningbolt in “The Glennrog of Myleroth” with the one from “The Mère-Queen of Lâtmar”, you will find he has a great deal more control over it, not that he can’t controle the wheater on a massive scale, ha can still do that as well) and are now equals in power with all the Nâz-Teachers (in some occasions even higher in power!). So they can not be send to essay-land with a wave of a hand (or claw).

From that moment on, they were both White Wizards and were sent back by FTP-Protocol until their task was done…

PS: for a copy of “the ten commandments of The Void” (our guidlines) click here

now enjoy the Glennrog of Myleroth =)!!
Pippin and Merry

Published in: on June 27, 2006 at 3:06 pm  Leave a Comment  


Well, not REALLY counterstrike (the game I mean 😉 ), you’ll have to ask Pippin about that!
Well I’ll get straight to the point!, We are at war!!! A pupil from our class has declared war upon us by opening a Counterblog (thinking he can become as good as us probably)…
Well, to get at LEAST our own class and school on our side (some sort of uniting against evil)
I will from this moment on, do the MASSIVE work of copying our stories and set a link underneath each ENGLISH story that will take you to….. a DUTCH one.
Now this is very tiresome work and I hope many will appreciate it…

So, We will unite against Proggie’s Web or we will fall….


Merry!! 😉

Tonight!, the land will be stained with the bytes of proggieweb!, Go now!, march to Proggieweb! leave nothing undeleted!,…TO WAR!!!! There will be no dawn for Proggie….

You will taste proggieweb bytes !!

Published in: on June 18, 2006 at 12:45 pm  Leave a Comment  

We’re growing! =D

Not in inches, centimeters, or somthing like that, though…
The Crazy Tooks exists for a week by now , and allready have we welcomed guests from China, America, London, and even Singapore!
Anyone who wants to know the exact numbers:

Click here

Off course, it’s not that much, but we, little hobbits we are, are very pleased with numbers like this!
That’s why we thank you very much, and invite you to come back regulary, to check our newest adventures!

Now, let’s have a pint! =D ( yes, really, they come in pints !! 😀 )

Merry and Pippin.

Published in: on June 18, 2006 at 12:27 pm  Leave a Comment  

The Lord of Maigret: The Glennrog of Myleroth

The Bridge of Jhomâd Dhôôm

The fellowship ran throught the dark caves beneath Jomia, the Glennrog still behind them. The horrid stench wich clearly came from behind made them all sick. If they could just make it to the bridge… Another corridor in, a cave out, the smell became worse, they tought they were gonna die, when suddenly… “There!”, Giandalf yelled: “The bridge of Jhomâd-dôômh!, we are safe!” Indeed they were, there was a strong draft at the bridge and the stench was for the most part blown away… All quickly ran over the bridge, as fast as they could. Behind them a wall of flame appeared, Giandalf (who was the oldest and couldn’t run as fast) and Glenmli Uffelaxe a dwarven warrior with a large axe and a grey beard fell a bit behind. (note: the Glennrog and Glenmli are NOT derived from the same person!) Giandalf turned and faced the wall of flame and looked upon the ugly horned face of the Glennrog! He turned again and ran quickly towards the bridge… SaruSven stood there waiting for him “quickly, get moving!” and he helped Giandalf cross the bridge. When he saw the old wizard at the other side SaruSven turned on the spot and faced the Glennrog… alone! “You cannot pass!!” he yelled. The Glennrog stood still for a moment. Was this puny little creature blocking his path? At the other side of the bridge all stood frozen and watched SaruSven. Giandalf rolled his eyes and thought: “Oh my Void, not AGAIN!” The Glennrog raised himself high and ignited releasing more stench from his rotting body. SaruSven swayed a little but remained firm on the ground. “You cannot pass!” he repeated. “I’m the servant of the secret water, wielder of the soap of Anôr… the dark stench shall not avail you!, rotting Udûn!” He held up his staff, a great white orb of energy appeared around the grey wizard. The Glennrog conjured his great rotting sword and swung it down…. CLASH!


Published in: on June 18, 2006 at 8:06 am  Leave a Comment  

The Lord of Maigret: The Mère-queen’s hour

The Defense of Minas Exit
The great battle still waged on over the pelennor playground… The teachers and the pupils they had brainwashed had broken the gates towards Minas Exit, (meaning the School’s only Exit and surrounding classrooms). And now the good defenders of Minas Exit stood against the many brainwashed slaves of the teachers. Again the Catapults released there deadly homework and windows shattered as they hit the glass. The first wave of brainwashed pupils pourred into the corridors. Just as they wanted to climb the steps towards the lockers BANG!!! they all exploded into tiny little bits. Apperently a group of students under the leadership of SaruSven had rigged the stairs with exploding calculators. But it only slowed them down, after 2 more waves the Orcils (Easier said then done, because what they saw, was devastating…. Large Orcils spawned in the Sixth grade where marching on the stairs, armed with spiked clubs. For a moment fear struck the hearts of the small band but knowing what they had to do they charged forth and started fighting with the Orcils. From a side-gate SaruSven runned in and casted a spell at the nearest Orcil. The Orcil suddenly got such a pain in his back that he couldn’t scratch his big toe and it annoyed him so much that he got a headache and fell to the ground. (still following =p ??, well SaruSven IS a powerfull wizard….) Although this Orcil laid silently on the ground, many others were coming towards the two wizards. Giandalf casted another desintegrate-spell, but the Orcils were too many. Just when they thought it couldn’t get any worse, they heard a rumbling noise coming towards them. As they peeked over the shoulder of another dead Orcil, they saw the most ugly substitutes coming up, armed and dangerous … The substitutes ran towards the big gate and started to smash it with their big zero-shaped clubs and their essay-explosives. One ran over to Giandalf in hopes of smashing the poor wizard. SaruSven saw it just in time and yelled: “Giandalf!! behind you, FRY IT!!!” Giandalf Turned quickly, lightning arced from his hand and staff and barbecued the ugly substitute. (Although we have to say, we don’t want any substitutes on OUR barbecue party’s ;).)

Nicorry: the brave hobbit!!
In the meanwhile, little hobit Nicorry ran trough the corridors, desperately searching for one of the two wizards. At this time, the battle had allready spread troughout most of Minas Exit, and only the upper classrooms remained safe … for now, at least . Nicorry turned arround the corner, and stood, all the sudden, face to face with an Orcill. ( allthough Nicorry saw only most of its chest ).


Published in: on June 12, 2006 at 2:27 pm  Comments (7)  

The Hunt For Seline

As you might know, there aren’t just ugly teachers. (Altough there are a LOT more of them =) ) Ugly pupils exist to!! (NOOOOOOOO!!!)… One of these “creatures” is called a “Seline”… brrrrr
How can I best describe it? (yes, you’ve heard me, it’s an “It” we wouldn’t want to insult the male and feminin, would we!! 😮 !!) Well, I will not describe this, teacher-adoring, ******, little, *****, *********, thing!! (wooops I did it again :p, luckaly we have a spelling-checker 😉 ). Well, since this IS a blog for young and old I will not go into it any further…

But there IS a nice movie in wich Saruman does us a little favor, by hunting down Seline! (Pay VERY close attention to Lurtz’s head when he knows what he has to do :D)

Click here

Published in: on June 9, 2006 at 5:53 pm  Comments (7)  

The Lord Of Maigret: the dictionarry of VC

We have to admit: Peter Jackson did a fine job, but who says it can’t be even better ? =D
So we present to you:

The Lord of Maigret: the two zero’s
The Dictionnairy of VC

Part1: Old Stefanbeard.

Between the sunken ruins of the playground, they marched forth towards a familiar shape. There he stood, old StefanBeard, rummaging through the debris, looking for ANY followers of V.C. that managed to escape. He didn’t look much like a victorer on the battlefield, yet he was… “haaa, young master SaruSven, hmmm I’m Brrrr so glad you’ve come. Food and water, stock and chalk I can master. But there is a teacher here who needs managing, locked up in her classroom.”

Part 2 : The Treath of VC.

Together, Sarusven and Giandalf walked towards the blue wall (you could still through the besmeared window inside a flooded clasroom where once all of VC’s brainwashing English lessons where stored), the window high above, …. a bench standing there half into the water. “Show yourself!” Giandalf called. The window was pushed open, and there stood VC, gazing down upon the two. “you have done many homeworks and passed many tests, my dears, can we not do our tests together as we once did?, can we not have peace you and I?” A long silence followed, until Giandalf replied: “Whe shall do tests, when our points have been corrected in green! We shall have tests, when you stop mumbling about being l-a-z-y! When you’re eaten by your own dictionnaries,and swallowed by the darkness of you clauset: then we shall do tests !!!

Part3: Fireballs down our asses

VC cowled: “Aaargh, closets and tests!!, puny words from a puny pupil, what are pupils then mindless lazy creatures who roll around for some marks!” Then she turned to SaruSven, “and what do YOU want, The key of this classroom?, or maybe the key to blub-a dûr itself! together with the solutions of the exams and the cell phone of the director!
SaruSven answerd calmly: “Your Treachery has already cost us many marks! Many pupils are still at risk! But you can help them VC!, you were with the enemy for a long time, tell us where the remaining teachers are!”
“So you have come here for information?” she put up a smug face and pulled a large zero-shaped eraser from her pocket, and held it out in front of her. “Someting festers in this school, someting You haven’t properly checked, as I come to expect from you during your tests! But the great Blub has seen it! even now ” her smile became one of malice “she presses her advantage! Her retribution will come swiftly, you will never pass to the fifth grade!, YOU WILL ALL FAIL!”
what happend next happened so fast most people didn’t knew what happend before it was over.
Quikly she conjured forth a dictionnairy out of nowhere, marked it with a BIG red round zero from her large red ballpoint and threw it down with all her force!
The dictionnairy gained speed at a diabolical rate, whoever looked up could see the big red zero coming rapidly closer.
Everyone knew it…… the two wizards where done for.
But someting happend, nobody had expected.
Sarusven waved his hand and ticked the dictionnairy out of the air. It crashed with a large splash in the water and a few moments later it floated upwards, drifting over the water. The big red zero still shining on it.
Giandalf raised his hand: “VC, your ballpoint is broken.” At that exact moment the ballpoint in VC’s hand began to shake ferociously and with a white flash it shattered into tiny little bits.
Vc stood there at the window, her hand slightly burned, shocked… but also enraged …

Part 4: A Geometric death …

At that precise moment Dieter bakkertongue appeared at the window. Once he saw him SaruSven yelled: “Dieter, you don’t have to follow her,.. she will never give you good marks no matter what you try! Come down, you where once one of us, a follower of the void! be free of her!”

Bakkertongue dwindled, he was about to come down when Vc struck him in the face and smote him down! “A follower?, YOU?, don’t make me laugh! You are a lesser pupil of greater students. What are followers of the void but mindless pc-freaks who whither in front of their viewscreen?”
Giandalf called: “Get down VC and tell us where the teachers are, then your life will be spared”
She turned towards him: “Send away your mindless rabble and I will tell you where the great blub will strike next! I will not be held prisoner here!”

But at that moment Dieter stood up took his geometric triangle and plunged it into her back, and stroke her again and again.”
Quickly Giandalf conjured an umbrella down his ass (wich offcourse magically openend), Dieter fell back in uncalculable pain, but it was to late, VC’s eyes wend wide open, she balancened for a moment on the spot,… then tumbled through the window.”
As she came falling he two wizards stepped quickly aside…CRACK… as her body landed on the bench that still stood there, … half in the mud. For a moment all could see the demonical pity in her eyes, then she slid in the water, and only a soft “blub” was still heard.
“Aaargh teachers” SaruSven yelled: “They are all the same!”
“Hmmmm, The filth of VC is washing away! Broooeeem, children will return here, and play.” stefanbeard said
Giandalf turned towards the small crowd who stood there half in terror, half in state of enjoyement: “Send out word to all of our MSN contacts, we NEED to know where Blubber will strike next!”

And for all the people, who choose to be L-A-Z-Y, here is the dutch version

Published in: on June 8, 2006 at 3:33 pm  Leave a Comment  

Lots o’ crazy people in this world …

And they all seem to landed up in our school :s
Take, for example, our English teacher, miss VC ( writing in abbreviations to keep the big round zero away :p ). She spends her lessons mumbling about clouds and being l-a-z-y, locking herself up in her closet with dictionarries and saying ‘Take a shit of paper, dear’
An update about the rest of our teachers will follow soon …
In the meantime, we say to you:

Merry and Pippin

Update :

We promised it, and here it is, our update on our (crazy) teachers :p

When you read about VC (again abbreviations :p ), you propably think it can’t get any worse than this :/
Believe us, it can ! :p
To save you from hartatacks, we will not show any real picture of our French teacher (nicknamed: “Blubber”) … but we can show you a digital , home made video :p
Originaly a work for Dutch, now a weapon of mass destruction ! =D
Here it is :

Click Here

Published in: on June 6, 2006 at 12:14 pm  Leave a Comment