The Lord Of Maigret: the dictionarry of VC


We have to admit: Peter Jackson did a fine job, but who says it can’t be even better ? =D
So we present to you:

The Lord of Maigret: the two zero’s
The Dictionnairy of VC

Part1: Old Stefanbeard.

Between the sunken ruins of the playground, they marched forth towards a familiar shape. There he stood, old StefanBeard, rummaging through the debris, looking for ANY followers of V.C. that managed to escape. He didn’t look much like a victorer on the battlefield, yet he was… “haaa, young master SaruSven, hmmm I’m Brrrr so glad you’ve come. Food and water, stock and chalk I can master. But there is a teacher here who needs managing, locked up in her classroom.”

Part 2 : The Treath of VC.

Together, Sarusven and Giandalf walked towards the blue wall (you could still through the besmeared window inside a flooded clasroom where once all of VC’s brainwashing English lessons where stored), the window high above, …. a bench standing there half into the water. “Show yourself!” Giandalf called. The window was pushed open, and there stood VC, gazing down upon the two. “you have done many homeworks and passed many tests, my dears, can we not do our tests together as we once did?, can we not have peace you and I?” A long silence followed, until Giandalf replied: “Whe shall do tests, when our points have been corrected in green! We shall have tests, when you stop mumbling about being l-a-z-y! When you’re eaten by your own dictionnaries,and swallowed by the darkness of you clauset: then we shall do tests !!!

Part3: Fireballs down our asses

VC cowled: “Aaargh, closets and tests!!, puny words from a puny pupil, what are pupils then mindless lazy creatures who roll around for some marks!” Then she turned to SaruSven, “and what do YOU want, The key of this classroom?, or maybe the key to blub-a dûr itself! together with the solutions of the exams and the cell phone of the director!
SaruSven answerd calmly: “Your Treachery has already cost us many marks! Many pupils are still at risk! But you can help them VC!, you were with the enemy for a long time, tell us where the remaining teachers are!”
“So you have come here for information?” she put up a smug face and pulled a large zero-shaped eraser from her pocket, and held it out in front of her. “Someting festers in this school, someting You haven’t properly checked, as I come to expect from you during your tests! But the great Blub has seen it! even now ” her smile became one of malice “she presses her advantage! Her retribution will come swiftly, you will never pass to the fifth grade!, YOU WILL ALL FAIL!”
what happend next happened so fast most people didn’t knew what happend before it was over.
Quikly she conjured forth a dictionnairy out of nowhere, marked it with a BIG red round zero from her large red ballpoint and threw it down with all her force!
The dictionnairy gained speed at a diabolical rate, whoever looked up could see the big red zero coming rapidly closer.
Everyone knew it…… the two wizards where done for.
But someting happend, nobody had expected.
Sarusven waved his hand and ticked the dictionnairy out of the air. It crashed with a large splash in the water and a few moments later it floated upwards, drifting over the water. The big red zero still shining on it.
Giandalf raised his hand: “VC, your ballpoint is broken.” At that exact moment the ballpoint in VC’s hand began to shake ferociously and with a white flash it shattered into tiny little bits.
Vc stood there at the window, her hand slightly burned, shocked… but also enraged …

Part 4: A Geometric death …

At that precise moment Dieter bakkertongue appeared at the window. Once he saw him SaruSven yelled: “Dieter, you don’t have to follow her,.. she will never give you good marks no matter what you try! Come down, you where once one of us, a follower of the void! be free of her!”

Bakkertongue dwindled, he was about to come down when Vc struck him in the face and smote him down! “A follower?, YOU?, don’t make me laugh! You are a lesser pupil of greater students. What are followers of the void but mindless pc-freaks who whither in front of their viewscreen?”
Giandalf called: “Get down VC and tell us where the teachers are, then your life will be spared”
She turned towards him: “Send away your mindless rabble and I will tell you where the great blub will strike next! I will not be held prisoner here!”

But at that moment Dieter stood up took his geometric triangle and plunged it into her back, and stroke her again and again.”
Quickly Giandalf conjured an umbrella down his ass (wich offcourse magically openend), Dieter fell back in uncalculable pain, but it was to late, VC’s eyes wend wide open, she balancened for a moment on the spot,… then tumbled through the window.”
As she came falling he two wizards stepped quickly aside…CRACK… as her body landed on the bench that still stood there, … half in the mud. For a moment all could see the demonical pity in her eyes, then she slid in the water, and only a soft “blub” was still heard.
“Aaargh teachers” SaruSven yelled: “They are all the same!”
“Hmmmm, The filth of VC is washing away! Broooeeem, children will return here, and play.” stefanbeard said
Giandalf turned towards the small crowd who stood there half in terror, half in state of enjoyement: “Send out word to all of our MSN contacts, we NEED to know where Blubber will strike next!”

And for all the people, who choose to be L-A-Z-Y, here is the dutch version

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Published in: on June 8, 2006 at 3:33 pm  Leave a Comment  

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