New !!! Hot !!! Must read !!! – The end of blub.

The end of Blub


Writers note:

Many months have passed since SaruSven and Giandalf took that leap of fate together and jumped carelessly into the abyss after some hideous monstrosity *looks happily back on good old days*. Yet all great tales have to have an ending. It seemed that the 2 wizards who have so joyfully mocked one of the greatest stories of the 19th century (and especially the movie!) were never going to have an adventure anymore. WRONG!

I admit, I never thought I’d take the time to open my laptop again and start writing one of those funny and controversial tales that we all love so much.

Yet this night (must be a full moon) I find the writers gene irresistible and I start yet again where we left of….


Through the gates.


Shadowprint leaped over, strode and galloped with a natural elegance between the thousands of bodies clashed together in epic combat. Indeed, the scope was certainly epic, Not in the

longest recess ever recorded did the playground look so crowded. The armies of Blub pitched every available teacher, substitute, janitor or brainwashed Orcil against our own assortment of fighters. Giandalf didn’t have the time however to contemplate the moment and whatever brought us there, time was of the essence! Although the destruction of the “Maigret” would ensure a sizeable portion of Blub’s power to be destroyed and sever it from the magic of the internet (so it can never dominate us again.) The embodiment of blub, it’s avatar in Middle-School so to speak, had to be destroyed. Giandalf knocked down an orcil with his staff and steered on. Giandalf knew that when Gilldo finally throws that infernal book into Mount trash it will be the end of Blub! She will be stopped from tuning in to the weather channel and conjuring up some damned darkness whenever she pleases. Best of all it would be done with the mind controlling of thousands of innocent pupils, broken by french tests and useless tasks which turned them into orcils. The tought of the process made him shiver. “No” he reasoned, “Got to stay focused now.” He made a sweeping motion with his hand and a particular ugly troll was suddenly brandishing a rubber chicken instead of a zero-shaped club. Finally Giandalf reached the lowest part of the Blubdorian gates.

 The gates in itself didn’t look like much, sure they were really big, had barbwire, a moat (on the inside of the complex), sandbags and several autoturrets shooting tranquillizer darts around it, but all and all it looked like a regular school door leading students down an all too familiar hallway to their classrooms.

Here Giandalf whispered something in shadowprints ear, dismounted and joined in the battle.

In no time he had blasted a hole in the group of Orcil defenders nearby and gave signal for an attack. As a small group of attackers answered the call and started to zap Orcils here and there with imported anti-grav guns from Half-Life2 (what are those things doing here? They’re in the wrong story!) a huge fireball erupted high on top of the blubdorian gate. SaruSven could just be seen dangling on one of those purple wizard umbrellas hovering down to where Giandalf stood. “Just blew out the autoturrets” He yelled as he threw a second fireball into the crowd and touched down on his improvised landing patch. Before he could say a thing however an elite group of janitors came hurling down towards them. All wearing hideously stained overalls and threatening them with powerdrills. “Time to go!” Giandalf grabbed SaruSven by the arm and they both disappeared into a bright white light.

 They were standing into a deserted corridor, an unnatural green light shining on their faces, torches casting shadowy figures on the walls and the never ending sound of muffled screams and despair. “All we need now is a nice creepy music theme and we’re cool.” SaruSven whispered. As in reply to his request a hollow voice announced something called ‘Radio Bluberva’ and a monotonous dreary version of ‘La vie en rose’ began to play. “Be careful what you wish for, aargh… think cool, think of a nice song.” Giandalf breathed heavily for a moment then continued, “Ok, I’m fine. How about you?””If you think going into the tonedeaf lion’s den is your version of ‘fine’ I’m wonderful. I wonder how Gilldo is coping with this without his I-pod?” He pulled out the slender white device Linadriel gave Gilldo several months ago and held it out in front of him. “Hope they’re ok… Wait a second! I got an idea.” And SaruSven strode forth through the seemingly empty corridors, Giandalf right behind him. “Why do you think these corridors are so deserted?” Giandalf asked as he peeped around the corner, staff held close in offensive position. “Blub is focusing all it’s energy at the gates, as expected” SaruSven murmered. “If it would figure out we were here we would have several cohorts of orcils on our tail in a matter of minutes, not to mention a nâz-teacher or two. So let us hope it won’t figure out we teleported through the open gate right into it’s backyard.” ”Yeah yeah, it was a brilliant plan, I get it.. you don’t have to repeat it over and over again.” SaruSven teleported a closed door out of it’s hinges and stepped into a small square room. Usually this was where some of the mobile equipment like, cd-players and DVD’s were kept to be used during class. Now it housed one of the most sophisticated machines of torture Blub ever invented: “Radio Bluberva!””Can you…””Way ahead of you.” Giandalf sat down in front of the old 1895 styled radio and began tinkering at it while trying to ignore the sounds of ‘je ne suis pas Parisienne’ the radio spit at him. “If I can put the I-pod on FM-transmit and block the radio in such a way that it only takes it’s ‘music’, if thats what you can call it, from our FM-band it should….””Yeah, yeah and we know what a genius you are”, SaruSven said sarcastically, “No need to rub that in, huh?”

 ”You do realize we’ll be discovered if we do this?””Doesn’t matter anymore”, SaruSven said, “This is probably a one way trip for us and at the very least we might give Gilldo a better fighting chance.” The two friends looked grimly at each other in silent understanding, then continued on with their work. “I think this should do it, …””Ssst, someone’s coming! Uh ooh, It’s Morniaets!” They crouched in the dark as a short figure glided by wearing black robes, holding a green balpoint in one hand and a dutch grammarbook in the other. In the silence they could hear one tone repeated over and over in the nâz-teacher’s breathing, “nou,… nou,… nou,….”

 For those of you who have never heard of Morniaets, she was once a nice teacher, training young minds to understand the complexities of dutch grammar, but like all of them she succumbed to the power of the nine ballpoints (Not counting the one VC made for herself.) and became the mère-queens left hand. She is an adept in creating confusion, especially when it comes to wiki’s, blogs and other internet stuff! (Yes we suspect our being forced from ‘’ was indeed the work of Morniaets!) But above all, she relishes in inventing the craziest assignements that have droven many a student utterly mad!

 “Well, Well, Well” croaked the voice, “didn’t I BAN all the I-Pods in this institute?” Before Giandalf could even look at the activated I-pod in his hand and say “Oh dear..” Morniaets aimed her green ballpoint at his chest and summoned from it an avalanche of last year’s mozart assignements. As Giandalf was about to suffocate, SaruSven willed the papers to fold themself into paper aeroplanes which turned around and attacked their master. Moniaets incinerated the planes without even blinking but before she could do anything else she was knocked about over half the corridor by SaruSven’s flying magical turkey attack. Meanwhile Giandalf rolled the assignements into a huge paper ball and rolled it over to where Moniaets was crawling back to her feet. Before she even knew what was happening he transformed the paper ball into a giant bowling ball while SaruSven magically increased its momentum. 1 second later one could hear a scream, followed by a tremendous clash and 2 people shouting “Slaaam Dunk!”

 15 minutes later we find he two white wizards by the door to the French classroom. Without further ado SaruSven broke the door down while his companion activated the I-pod. Immediatly the sounds in the hallways changed and under the “Mission impossible”-theme they ascended the last stairs towards the cold and windy rooftops.

 The french classroom, which is one of the highest points in Middle-School had lost its walls a long time ago, the other classrooms adjacent to it had been utterly vaporized, only the stairs remained, together with the door SaruSven just teleported out and 2 pieces of wall where, in between, a green blubbery substance resided.

 Aware of their presence the massive glob turned and faced (what is its front and backside really?) the two wizards. “Prepare to be deleted from this world, Blub!” SaruSven yelled, the sound of his voice nearly unintelligible between the whooshing sound of the smoke and winds circling around the classroom. Before Giandalf could even add to that threat he was hit by a greenish ray and stumbled over the ridge, 24 stories down.

 SaruSven didn’t even have time to take in what just had happened. Blub trembled and shot another blast of pure liquid French towards the wizard, but SaruSven’s shield was already up. Again and again Blub stroke but it only made gentle ripples over the white energy barrier the wizard created. “Any moment now he’ll hover back up here and zaps that idiotic piece of jelly in front of me with lightening bolts just like with the Glennrog. But seconds went by, and nothing happened. “It can’t be…” But at that moment an enormous fire erupted in the distance, Mount Trash was erupting and flaming pieces of garbage were flying everywhere.

“Gilldo made it…”

 In a fit of hope mixed with rage SaruSven lifted the shieldbubble and shot an immensly bright ray of light towards his opponent, it hit in mid-air with a flow of superfluous homework through which it cut like a knife through hot butter. It hit the blubbery substance and started to push it out of its place. Waves of examination fear or confusion did not help, every fiber in SaruSven’s being was set to destroying that vile creature that killed his longtime friend. For a moment images of loss, despair flowed into his mind,… feelings of hurt, inability to cope alone. The beam faltered and Blub slid back between the 2 pieces of wall, feeling smug probably. Then it was hit once more by the same beam, in fact, we assume it’s even overclocked! “Stop messing with my head!” SaruSven yelled. To his utter amazement he vaguely saw a large black hole forming. Just a circular space behind Blub where normal air suddenly became binairy,.. then unbound into nothingness. Blub looked horribly terrified now (we think). “To cyberspace with you!” and with one last effort the 2 walls gave way, and the green menace was sucked right in. The black hole imploded and Blub was never seen or heard of again…

1 year later…

 “So, this is it then? You’re just leaving us?” Tamwise said, looking devastated. “You know why I can’t stay here..” Gilldo said kindly, “Here, I want you to have this.””But that’s your book!, I can’t…” But Gilldo waved the objection away “The last pages are for you Tam.” He said goodbye to his best friend, and to Nicorry, looking almost as distraught as Tamwise.

“I’m ready.” He said as he walked over to Linadriel and SaruSven. The Elf Lady extended her hands in friendship and guided Gilldo through a swirling blue and white portal behind them in which they both disappeared. “So I guess this is goodbye then.” SaruSven said a bit uncomfortably. “I won’t say: ‘don’t cry’, for not all tears are an evil.” A little while later, after the hobbits were all gone, he took out a battered golden digital watch from inside his robes and looked at it. “Now where the devil could he be!” About 20 minutes later another wizard dressed in white robes came from behind a column,… It was Giandalf.

“I’m so sorry I’m late.” He said sincerely and walked up towards the now almost abandoned platform. They needed me at Orthclass, something to do with updating their section about multidimensional portals and black holes… you should see what they’ve done to the place, remarkable!””You missed the farewell!” SaruSven said sternly. “Not really, I met two very sad young hobbits on my way,… you know I’m really going to miss those guys.” After an awkward moment of silence SaruSven whispered, “yeah, me too. C’mon we better go before they close up the portal, I kind of miss home too!””Aah , ‘Home, sweet home’”


And with that said and done they stepped through the swirling mass and vanished, leaving a better world behind…

Published in: on October 4, 2007 at 5:01 pm  Comments (2)  

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Amazing! Amazing! I’ll be back … in a day or two or three. This is the end? NoNoNo. Don’t do that!
    Till then.

  2. Waarom zou iemand willen volgen een dieet, en het antwoord is heel duidelijk.nWaarom ik het een ander verhaal en mensen vaak uit op datnmo Click

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