The Lord of Maigret: The Glennrog of Myleroth

The Bridge of Jhomâd Dhôôm

The fellowship ran throught the dark caves beneath Jomia, the Glennrog still behind them. The horrid stench wich clearly came from behind made them all sick. If they could just make it to the bridge… Another corridor in, a cave out, the smell became worse, they tought they were gonna die, when suddenly… “There!”, Giandalf yelled: “The bridge of Jhomâd-dôômh!, we are safe!” Indeed they were, there was a strong draft at the bridge and the stench was for the most part blown away… All quickly ran over the bridge, as fast as they could. Behind them a wall of flame appeared, Giandalf (who was the oldest and couldn’t run as fast) and Glenmli Uffelaxe a dwarven warrior with a large axe and a grey beard fell a bit behind. (note: the Glennrog and Glenmli are NOT derived from the same person!) Giandalf turned and faced the wall of flame and looked upon the ugly horned face of the Glennrog! He turned again and ran quickly towards the bridge… SaruSven stood there waiting for him “quickly, get moving!” and he helped Giandalf cross the bridge. When he saw the old wizard at the other side SaruSven turned on the spot and faced the Glennrog… alone! “You cannot pass!!” he yelled. The Glennrog stood still for a moment. Was this puny little creature blocking his path? At the other side of the bridge all stood frozen and watched SaruSven. Giandalf rolled his eyes and thought: “Oh my Void, not AGAIN!” The Glennrog raised himself high and ignited releasing more stench from his rotting body. SaruSven swayed a little but remained firm on the ground. “You cannot pass!” he repeated. “I’m the servant of the secret water, wielder of the soap of Anôr… the dark stench shall not avail you!, rotting Udûn!” He held up his staff, a great white orb of energy appeared around the grey wizard. The Glennrog conjured his great rotting sword and swung it down…. CLASH!

(more…)

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Published in: on June 18, 2006 at 8:06 am  Leave a Comment  

The Lord of Maigret: The Mère-queen’s hour

The Defense of Minas Exit
The great battle still waged on over the pelennor playground… The teachers and the pupils they had brainwashed had broken the gates towards Minas Exit, (meaning the School’s only Exit and surrounding classrooms). And now the good defenders of Minas Exit stood against the many brainwashed slaves of the teachers. Again the Catapults released there deadly homework and windows shattered as they hit the glass. The first wave of brainwashed pupils pourred into the corridors. Just as they wanted to climb the steps towards the lockers BANG!!! they all exploded into tiny little bits. Apperently a group of students under the leadership of SaruSven had rigged the stairs with exploding calculators. But it only slowed them down, after 2 more waves the Orcils (Easier said then done, because what they saw, was devastating…. Large Orcils spawned in the Sixth grade where marching on the stairs, armed with spiked clubs. For a moment fear struck the hearts of the small band but knowing what they had to do they charged forth and started fighting with the Orcils. From a side-gate SaruSven runned in and casted a spell at the nearest Orcil. The Orcil suddenly got such a pain in his back that he couldn’t scratch his big toe and it annoyed him so much that he got a headache and fell to the ground. (still following =p ??, well SaruSven IS a powerfull wizard….) Although this Orcil laid silently on the ground, many others were coming towards the two wizards. Giandalf casted another desintegrate-spell, but the Orcils were too many. Just when they thought it couldn’t get any worse, they heard a rumbling noise coming towards them. As they peeked over the shoulder of another dead Orcil, they saw the most ugly substitutes coming up, armed and dangerous … The substitutes ran towards the big gate and started to smash it with their big zero-shaped clubs and their essay-explosives. One ran over to Giandalf in hopes of smashing the poor wizard. SaruSven saw it just in time and yelled: “Giandalf!! behind you, FRY IT!!!” Giandalf Turned quickly, lightning arced from his hand and staff and barbecued the ugly substitute. (Although we have to say, we don’t want any substitutes on OUR barbecue party’s ;).)

Nicorry: the brave hobbit!!
In the meanwhile, little hobit Nicorry ran trough the corridors, desperately searching for one of the two wizards. At this time, the battle had allready spread troughout most of Minas Exit, and only the upper classrooms remained safe … for now, at least . Nicorry turned arround the corner, and stood, all the sudden, face to face with an Orcill. ( allthough Nicorry saw only most of its chest ).

(more…)

Published in: on June 12, 2006 at 2:27 pm  Comments (7)  

The Hunt For Seline

As you might know, there aren’t just ugly teachers. (Altough there are a LOT more of them =) ) Ugly pupils exist to!! (NOOOOOOOO!!!)… One of these “creatures” is called a “Seline”… brrrrr
How can I best describe it? (yes, you’ve heard me, it’s an “It” we wouldn’t want to insult the male and feminin, would we!! 😮 !!) Well, I will not describe this, teacher-adoring, ******, little, *****, *********, thing!! (wooops I did it again :p, luckaly we have a spelling-checker 😉 ). Well, since this IS a blog for young and old I will not go into it any further…

But there IS a nice movie in wich Saruman does us a little favor, by hunting down Seline! (Pay VERY close attention to Lurtz’s head when he knows what he has to do :D)

Click here

Published in: on June 9, 2006 at 5:53 pm  Comments (7)  

The Lord Of Maigret: the dictionarry of VC


We have to admit: Peter Jackson did a fine job, but who says it can’t be even better ? =D
So we present to you:

The Lord of Maigret: the two zero’s
The Dictionnairy of VC

Part1: Old Stefanbeard.

Between the sunken ruins of the playground, they marched forth towards a familiar shape. There he stood, old StefanBeard, rummaging through the debris, looking for ANY followers of V.C. that managed to escape. He didn’t look much like a victorer on the battlefield, yet he was… “haaa, young master SaruSven, hmmm I’m Brrrr so glad you’ve come. Food and water, stock and chalk I can master. But there is a teacher here who needs managing, locked up in her classroom.”

Part 2 : The Treath of VC.

Together, Sarusven and Giandalf walked towards the blue wall (you could still through the besmeared window inside a flooded clasroom where once all of VC’s brainwashing English lessons where stored), the window high above, …. a bench standing there half into the water. “Show yourself!” Giandalf called. The window was pushed open, and there stood VC, gazing down upon the two. “you have done many homeworks and passed many tests, my dears, can we not do our tests together as we once did?, can we not have peace you and I?” A long silence followed, until Giandalf replied: “Whe shall do tests, when our points have been corrected in green! We shall have tests, when you stop mumbling about being l-a-z-y! When you’re eaten by your own dictionnaries,and swallowed by the darkness of you clauset: then we shall do tests !!!

Part3: Fireballs down our asses

VC cowled: “Aaargh, closets and tests!!, puny words from a puny pupil, what are pupils then mindless lazy creatures who roll around for some marks!” Then she turned to SaruSven, “and what do YOU want, The key of this classroom?, or maybe the key to blub-a dûr itself! together with the solutions of the exams and the cell phone of the director!
SaruSven answerd calmly: “Your Treachery has already cost us many marks! Many pupils are still at risk! But you can help them VC!, you were with the enemy for a long time, tell us where the remaining teachers are!”
“So you have come here for information?” she put up a smug face and pulled a large zero-shaped eraser from her pocket, and held it out in front of her. “Someting festers in this school, someting You haven’t properly checked, as I come to expect from you during your tests! But the great Blub has seen it! even now ” her smile became one of malice “she presses her advantage! Her retribution will come swiftly, you will never pass to the fifth grade!, YOU WILL ALL FAIL!”
what happend next happened so fast most people didn’t knew what happend before it was over.
Quikly she conjured forth a dictionnairy out of nowhere, marked it with a BIG red round zero from her large red ballpoint and threw it down with all her force!
The dictionnairy gained speed at a diabolical rate, whoever looked up could see the big red zero coming rapidly closer.
Everyone knew it…… the two wizards where done for.
But someting happend, nobody had expected.
Sarusven waved his hand and ticked the dictionnairy out of the air. It crashed with a large splash in the water and a few moments later it floated upwards, drifting over the water. The big red zero still shining on it.
Giandalf raised his hand: “VC, your ballpoint is broken.” At that exact moment the ballpoint in VC’s hand began to shake ferociously and with a white flash it shattered into tiny little bits.
Vc stood there at the window, her hand slightly burned, shocked… but also enraged …

Part 4: A Geometric death …

At that precise moment Dieter bakkertongue appeared at the window. Once he saw him SaruSven yelled: “Dieter, you don’t have to follow her,.. she will never give you good marks no matter what you try! Come down, you where once one of us, a follower of the void! be free of her!”

Bakkertongue dwindled, he was about to come down when Vc struck him in the face and smote him down! “A follower?, YOU?, don’t make me laugh! You are a lesser pupil of greater students. What are followers of the void but mindless pc-freaks who whither in front of their viewscreen?”
Giandalf called: “Get down VC and tell us where the teachers are, then your life will be spared”
She turned towards him: “Send away your mindless rabble and I will tell you where the great blub will strike next! I will not be held prisoner here!”

But at that moment Dieter stood up took his geometric triangle and plunged it into her back, and stroke her again and again.”
Quickly Giandalf conjured an umbrella down his ass (wich offcourse magically openend), Dieter fell back in uncalculable pain, but it was to late, VC’s eyes wend wide open, she balancened for a moment on the spot,… then tumbled through the window.”
As she came falling he two wizards stepped quickly aside…CRACK… as her body landed on the bench that still stood there, … half in the mud. For a moment all could see the demonical pity in her eyes, then she slid in the water, and only a soft “blub” was still heard.
“Aaargh teachers” SaruSven yelled: “They are all the same!”
“Hmmmm, The filth of VC is washing away! Broooeeem, children will return here, and play.” stefanbeard said
Giandalf turned towards the small crowd who stood there half in terror, half in state of enjoyement: “Send out word to all of our MSN contacts, we NEED to know where Blubber will strike next!”

And for all the people, who choose to be L-A-Z-Y, here is the dutch version

Published in: on June 8, 2006 at 3:33 pm  Leave a Comment  

Lots o’ crazy people in this world …

And they all seem to landed up in our school :s
Take, for example, our English teacher, miss VC ( writing in abbreviations to keep the big round zero away :p ). She spends her lessons mumbling about clouds and being l-a-z-y, locking herself up in her closet with dictionarries and saying ‘Take a shit of paper, dear’
An update about the rest of our teachers will follow soon …
In the meantime, we say to you:
Cheerio

Merry and Pippin

Update :

We promised it, and here it is, our update on our (crazy) teachers :p

When you read about VC (again abbreviations :p ), you propably think it can’t get any worse than this :/
Believe us, it can ! :p
To save you from hartatacks, we will not show any real picture of our French teacher (nicknamed: “Blubber”) … but we can show you a digital , home made video :p
Originaly a work for Dutch, now a weapon of mass destruction ! =D
Here it is :

Click Here

Published in: on June 6, 2006 at 12:14 pm  Leave a Comment  

And so it begins …

Here it is, our first blog post … but who the hell is ‘our’ ?
Well, by saying ‘our’, I mean that this blog belongs to us ( still folowing? =D ), so ‘us’ is we.
And by saying we, I mean us (here we go again). But to make a long story short: ‘We’ are the crazy tooks :p !
So, we’d like to welcome you all to our blog, and we invite you to come again !
Cheerio,

Pippin and Merry 😀

Published in: on June 6, 2006 at 9:34 am  Comments (2)