Crossing Smithardras


The Machinery of VC:

This small story begins in the dungeons of Orthclass. VC was just inspecting her latest victims, students, cheaters and friends of those blasted Void-followers. She had chained them to their desks where they were forced to learn and study and by VC’s demonical english lessons they were brainwashed. They became the Orcil-High. Very different from the Orcils of Blub!, because these were brainwashed with English, the Orcils of Blub were brainwashed with french. English created more loyal and able warriors (or slaves!). One clever pupil managed to escape and ran for the door. VC just stood there watching as the Orcil guards couldn’t stop him. She gave a deep sigh and , in a flash, she shifted herself through space in front of the pupil. BANG! VC gave him a headbutt, with her o-so-famous diadem (wich was nothing more than a rusty spiked headband ) to remember for the rest of his life. Unfortunately, that life wouldn’t stand for more then, let’s see, …. 5 seconds. As the Pupil lay there crawling in pain on the floor VC said: “Trying to get away, hmm. Oh, now I need to clean my diadem again. And you know how I hate cleaning, don’t you. My dear!” The pupil looked horrified. VC waved her hand and in a green flash the pupil was sent to essay-land? The orcil-guards stopped, became silent for a moment and those that had a hat, took it of for a second. VC scurried them away: “There will be NO compassion for the enemy, my dears!!” she said. The Orcil-guards quickly ran for their posts! Fearing a similar fate! VC looked pleased: “One more cargo of lazy followers and I’ll have an army big enough to launch an attack upon Middle-School” She started laughing maniacally. In her classroom she sat down behind her desk still enjoying herself. She took a remote and zapped to the security channel on her Paleser (wich was just a big Zero-shaped eraser.) As she was skimming through the security camera readouts she saw the most dreadfull thing! The fellowship had escaped her flying dictionnairies and were now heading towards the Pellenor playgrounds over the slopes of Smithadras!! (not the peak as in “The Glennrog of Myleroth” the slopes were the rooftops on the second level under the classroom of Smithadras.) VC quickly looked in her robes for her cellphone, then she remembered that the damn things wouldn’t be invented for over 20000 years and gave orders to the Orcils at the door to bring the Nymfomaniac Zenwâe to the top of Orthclass and command her to block the fellowships path. VC had captured Zenwâe’s mate and imprisoned him in the classrooms beneath Orthclass. As was the custom with Nymfomaniacs they were like sheep without their mate. So although Zenwâe didn’t WANT to hurt the fellowship, she had to, because this sexloving creature was under VC’s control!

Nowhere to go:

In the meanwhile the fellowship was hurrying over the rooftops of Smithadras, an abyss on one end, a concrete wall on the other. When suddly Glenmli halted. “Are you tired, Master Dwarf?” SaruSven said teasingly. “No you rascal” Glenmli said “Their is a bitchy voice in the air!, I can tell, it sounds just like my Seventh wife!!” “It’s VC!!” Giandalf yelled “She’s using a Nymfomaniac!” “Well then we must go back!” Glenmli said! “NOOO!!” SaruSven held up his staff and started yelling at the bitchy voice: “Moktdagewegze Ghij Ohnoosell trezebeesoum”

And the voice replied:
Anorexia aiaiaai Come fatih oh yea, we bangbang en tralalaaaa Oeeioei I pregneroum, enn it’s UNWANTED!!

At the sound of “unwanted” a giant condom struck the upstairs classroom and the walls of Smithadras crumbled and fell down. Giandalf and SaruSven where only just able to conjure up a giant “PILL” to protect the fellowship. GRRMBL, CRASH aaah BANG preciouss RRRUUMBLE, as the avalanche crashed down upon them. When All the debris had fallen in the abyss, the pill vanished and they looked up. From the upstairs classroom only a blackboard could be seen. “We should’ve taken a different road. “Giandalf muttered. “We could go through the caves of Jomia” Glenmli offered “My people have taken that area from the enemy and have been hiding out there for years. We will be welcome there.” “It is TOO dangerous!” SaruSven yelled. “Let the Bookbarer deside!” Giandalf said calmly. All eyes turned towards Gilldo. He swallowed then said: “We will go through the caves of Jomia!”
“So be it….” SaruSven tought.

Published on November 29, 2007 at 5:36 pm  Leave a Comment  

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